Damn, it’s been (for real) 6 years since I posted something like this. I loved doing reviews. Shouldn’t have stopped.
About half an hour ago, I watched this argentine movie. I used to have a friend who encouraged me to go to argentine film festivals that I missed specially tonight. But, in her honor, I’ll spread the message and do the same thing: taking over the role of “the fan of local cinema”.
To begin with this, I’ll have to admit I felt the precious and magical feeling that only films can make me feel. It happens when I’m so immersed on the plot and what the character is going through, I can’t help bursting into tears. In this case, with a particular drama based in the gender violence topic, an impotence came along. I wish I was a social worker and help victims everyday with my grain of whatever you may call it, so they can have a better life as they deserve. Not being able to have that profession, shouldn’t mean I can’t do nothing about it. At least, as a very mini transgression, I have my words.
Insidious is blind inception What’s reality with all these questions? Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in (slept in) Broken legs but I chase perfection These walls are my blank expression My mind is a home I’m trapped in And it’s lonely inside this mansion
This track is the most honorific of all (on my opinion) in terms of metaphorical content.
Yo my mind is a house with walls covered in lyrics They’re all over the place, there’s songs in the mirrors Written all over the floors, all over the chairs And you get the uncut version of life when I go downstairs
Wow, save me some tour tickets.
That’s where I write when I’m in a bad place and need to release And let out the version of NF you don’t want to see I put holes in the walls with both of my fists ’til they bleed You might get a glimpse of how I cope with all this anger in me Physically abused, now that’s the room that I don’t want to be in
It distressed me so much the first time I’ve heard (really payed attention to) he went through that. Nobody deserves it.
That picture ain’t blurry at all, I just don’t want to see it And these walls ain’t blank, I just think I don’t want to see ’em But why not? I’m in here, so I might as well read ’em I gotta thank you for this anger that I carry around Wish I could take a match and burn this whole room to the ground Matter of fact I think I’m a burn this room right now So now this memory for some reason just won’t come down
I hope some day, somehow, he’ll be able to do this. Obviously, mentally. And let the pain fly away, disappropriating from it.
You used to put me in the corner, so you could see the fear in my eyes
Unfortunately, I can make an image of this. At least the sensation. Fuck those people who uses force as power against others.
Then took me downstairs and beat me ’til I screamed and I cried Congratulations, you’ll always have a room in my mind But I’m a keep the door shut and lock the lyrics inside
Insidious is blind inception What’s reality with all these questions? Feels like I missed my alarm and slept in (slept in) Broken legs but I chase perfection These walls are my blank expression My mind is a home I’m trapped in And it’s lonely inside this mansion
Yo my mind is a house with walls covered in pain See my problem is I don’t fix things I just try to repaint, cover em up, like it never happen
Hey I know for a fact now, there are many individuals who have the same problem. At some point, we have to learn another coping mechanisms. If not, shit is unbearable.
Say I wish I could change, are you confused? Come upstairs and I’ll show you what I mean This room’s full of regrets, just keeps getting fuller it seems
What a burden, ain’t I right?
The moment I walk in to it is the same moment that I wanna leave I get sick to my stomach every time I look at these things But it’s hard to look past when this is the room where I sleep I look around, one of the worst things I wrote on these walls Was the moment I realized that I was losing my mom And one of the first things I wrote was I was shot with a call
I wouldn’t be surprised if he can’t close the eye at that scenario.
But I should just stop now, we ain’t got enough room in this song And I regret the fact that I struggled trying to find who I am And I lie to myself and say I do the best that I can Shrug it off like it ain’t nothing like it’s out of my hands Then get ticked off whenever I see it affecting my plans
I wonder if NF should take responsability about this matter if he doesn’t decide being or sufforing this way . To me, he was being really harsh on himself.
And I regret watching these trust issues eat me alive And at the rate I’m going they’ll probably still be there when I die
I’m so sorry! I completely abandoned the site. The truth is I’ve been hospitalized until two days ago. But now I finally organized my time a little bit better and found the space to continue with this proposal:
This is Lost in the moment
This may be the last sunset I’ll see So I’ll take it in, I’ll take it in This may be the last air that I’ll breathe I’ll breathe it in, I’ll breathe it in
Have you ever said “This is it, I am not living beyond this point”?
I heard that pictures don’t change Just the people inside of ’em do
;(
Whoever told you that life would be easy
I promise that person was lyin’ to you
Yeah stay away of the toxic positive people and their myths.
You got a problem with followin’ through That’s why I got a problem with followin’ you You keep lookin’ at me like this problem is new But we’ve been here before, what you tryin’ to do? Don’t talk to me like I don’t know what you feeling ‘Cause I was there with you back in the beginning
This is a dialogue with himself, isn’t it? I think there’s a part of NF which (tries to lie to him) ignores the fact that he’s having the same feelings related to one situation he’s already gotten through before. The same one he never really got over with.
Quit looking away when I talk, let me finish I’m tryna be honest, you’re tryna forget me, ugh
But the truth always comes to light. The dust under the carpet isn’t really gone.
What’s wrong with you, hey? I know that you got a lot on your plate You keep telling me I should get out of your way But I can’t see how you gon’ lie to my face Don’t tell me you fine ’cause I know that you not so don’t even try And what we gon’ live for in this life full of pain ‘Til we’re eighty and one day we’ll get up and say we regretted our lives That’s where we going Do not pretend like you don’t even notice
The dark and pessimist point of view sometimes it’s the only known thing. Some glasses can’t be replaced by another.
Funny thing is that you already know it I’m starting to think that you like how I feel so be lost in the moment Lost, lost in the moment Lost in the moment, lost in the moment And get lost, lost in the moment Lost in the moment, lost in the moment Yeah, they told us that time flies, didn’t know what it means Now I feel like we just running around tryna Catch it and hoping to cut up its wings But that ain’t gon’ happen Joy, when was the last time we had it?
Oh man, I remember a list of times when I listened to this song. All in darkest moments. Maybe laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling. Or being dumped on the floor by my emotions.
When did I become so numb? When did I lose myself? All the words that leave my tongue Feel like they came from someone else
Have you ever felt like you don’t recognize yourself? Who’s this lost soul in the reflection? It has changed for worse.
I’m paralyzed Where are my feelings? I no longer feel things I know I should I’m paralyzed Where is the real me? I’m lost and it kills me Inside I’m paralyzed
Blocked or locked? I can´t move from my bed or the chair I’m sitting. It’s not pleasant to feel nothing at all. In fact, is a bad sign. It means that you reached a point in which feeling so much has surprisingly stopped and presented you this phase of living the life of a zombie.
When did I become so cold? When did I become ashamed? (Oh) Where’s the person that I know? They must have left They must have left With all my faith
I’m paralyzed Where are my feelings? I no longer feel things I know I should
This situation (whichever) should have an impact in my sensitive self. Why doesn’t it anymore?
I’m paralyzed Where is the real me? I’m lost and it kills me Inside I’m paralyzed
I’m paralyzed, I’m scared to live, but I’m scared to die
Saddly, life makes no sense without the characters of Inside Out. So what can we do? Keep waiting til we feel something again? “This shit is tiring” (quote of the song writer).
And if life is pain, then I buried mine
Golden phraseđź‘Ź, mate.
A long time ago, but it’s still alive And it’s taking over me, where am I? I wanna feel something, I’m numb inside But I don’t feel nothing, I wonder why I’m in the race of life and time passed by
Note to myself: REACT!
Look, I sit back and I watch it Hands in my pockets Waves come crashing over me but I just watch ’em I just watch ’em
May I present you my cry-out song which I listen mostly when I’m in need of understanding of my suffering.
Yeah, some days, I just wanna leave the negativity in my head I just want relief from my stress I just want relief from my stress Some days, I don’t wanna see or Have a bunch of people to impress I just want relief from my stress Yeah, I just want relief from my stress
Stress. What a detestable feeling. Difficult to avoid as you have to put an incredible mind effort to get rid of it or minimize it.
Late nights, starin’ out the window doin’ eighty-five Got my state of mind Yeah, walkin’ on that grey line Hopin’ that my stress dies It’s like I hate it, but I love it at the same time Pressure pushin’ me from all sides Insecurities of all kinds
Kinda hard to leave behind that omnipresence.
Yeah, I’m a hostage to my own pride
Anyone else developed an treacherous prideful feature?
Most important things in life to me are things I know I can’t buy
With the porpuse or giving an example there’s peace. But there are so many more.
Yeah, it’s me in phases I’m not in the mood, yeah, to meet another stranger I’m not in the mood, yeah, to have a conversation And talk about a bunch of things that I don’t feel amazed with
Nate & I are selectors of the people we get close to. Just a few pass the test to be around us. If you don’t have the energy, personality and vibe that I want/need, I show you the door. Maybe it’s because we are saving time to not cope with new unnecessary damage.
Gettin’ too close to me, woo, could be dangerous I don’t like the energy, I leave the situation
That’s what I was talking about.
All this negativity that I can’t get away from All this negativity, I think I need a break from
It’s a grand part of us. Years of training our brains to see things pessimistically. Can’t be easy to just reverse all the process. Takes a lot of work.
I’m thankful, but
Some days, I just wanna leave the negativity in my head I just want relief from my stress I just want relief from my stress Some days, I don’t wanna see or Have a bunch of people to impress I just want relief from my stress Yeah, I just want relief from my stress
Yo, this life got my head spinnin’ Wonder what I’d do if I knew these were my last minutes Wonder if I had a week to live, would I stay trippin’? Wastin’ every day that I had left tryna sell tickets Or maybe call my dad, say I love him and laugh with him Take a couple days and get away from this fast livin’ I don’t love my work the way I did Man, this whole business has got me feelin’ jaded Friends I had, now they act different, it’s all switchin’, whoa
I’m done with changes everywhere I go. Sometimes we need immutability. Specially in out beloved ones.
Yeah, it’s pretty hard to watch Things you used to love turn to things that you wish you forgot
Phrase of the year? Yes, it is! I’m in love with how the simplicity of a few words put together can contain a meaning so deep. Tell me you read this and a bad memory of a situation or a person doesn’t pop in your head.
Sorry this one took a little longer to publish. I’m staying at the regional hospital for reasons I won’t tell righ now, because that’s besode the point.
Say you’re there when I feel helpless
If that’s true, why don’t you help me?
Is it that hard to stick to your speech? When you’re looking for someone to give you a hand, to show you that you’re not alone as you think/feel, all they do is a turn of the back.
It’s my fault, I know I’m selfish Stand alone, my soul is jealous It wants love, but I reject it Trade my joy for my protection
But, at the same time, you have made the mistake of not being open and enable the person to prove you wrong. I dare to affirm you feel like you don’t deserve to be loved.
Grab my hand, I’m drowning I feel my heart pounding
Please don’t leave me, even though I may be unreachable most of the time.
Why haven’t you found me yet? I hold you so proudly Traumas, they surround me I wish you’d just love me back
How can we let go the situations that left a mark in our bodies or spirit?
Say you’re here, but I don’t feel it Give me peace, but then you steal it
Take care of my vulnerable heart. I can’t deal with more pain.
Watch them laugh at all my secrets Scream and yell, but I feel speechless Ask for help, you call it weakness Lied and promised me my freedom
Oh man, you, NF, are the one that puts my mind in blank and my heart in hand.
God I love this song. It’s one of my favorites and is ideal when you’re desiring to push every living thing out. Like I want right now.
Too many faces, too many faces, too many faces
Social phobia? Where?
Yeah, what’s your definition of success? (ay) I don’t trust the thoughts that come inside my head (woo)
Our thoughts aren’t reliable. What good decisions can we make then?
I don’t trust this thing that beats inside my chest
It points at the wrong direction sometimes, doesn’t it?
Who I am and who I wanna be cannot connect, why?
Can’t be able to reach the person desired; the idealism of a fitting person doesn’t become real. There’s always something fucked up about us.
Don’t think I deserve it? You get no respect (woo) I just made a couple mil’, still not impressed Let You Down goes triple platinum, yeah, okay, okay, I guess (ay) Smile for a moment then these questions startin’ to fill my head, not again!
This represents me so much. Finit happiness.
I push away the people that I love the most, why? (woo) I don’t want no one to know I’m vulnerable, why? (woo) That makes me feel weak and so uncomfortable, why? (ay)
Therapy help us figure these questions out.
Stop askin’ me questions, I just wanna feel alive Until I die, this isn’t Nate’s flow (woo) Just let me rhyme, I’m in disguise I’m a busy person, got no time for lies, one of a kind They don’t see it, I pull out they eyes, I’m on the rise! I’ve been doin’ this for most my life with no advice (woo) Take my chances, I just roll the dice, do what I like As a kid, I was afraid of heights, put that aside Now I’m here and they look so surprised, well so am I, woo! They don’t invite me to the parties but I still arrive Kick down the door and then I go inside Give off that “I do not belong here” vibe Then take the keys right off the counter, let’s go for a ride Why do y’all look mortified? (ay) I keep to myself, they think I’m sorta shy, organized Let You Down’s the only song you’ve heard of? Well then you’re behind (woo) Story time, wish that I could think like Big Sean does, but I just can’t decide (aah) If I should stick my knife inside of Pennywise I, I don’t care what anybody else thinks, lies (haha) I do not need nobody to help me, lies I kinda feel guilty ’cause I’m wealthy, why? I don’t understand, it’s got me questionin’ like, “Why? Just tell me why, not back to this flow Inside I feel divided Back when I ain’t had a dime, but had the drive Back before I ever signed, I questioned life, like, “Who am I, man?” Woo! Nothin’ to me’s ever good enough I could be workin’ for twenty-four hours a day and think I never did enough My life is a movie but there ain’t no tellin’ what you’re gonna see in my cinema (no) I wanna be great but I get it in the way of myself And I think about everything that I could never be Why do I do it though? Ay, yeah Why you always lookin’ aggravated? Not a choice, you know I had to make it When they talk about the greatest, they gon’ probably never put us in the conversation Like somethin’ then I gotta take it Write somethin’ then I might erase it I love it, then I really hate it What’s the problem, Nathan? I don’t know I know I like to preach to always be yourself (yeah) But my emotions make me feel like I am someone else Me and pride had made a pact that we don’t need no help Which feels like I’m at war inside myself but I forgot the shells I hold my issues up for all to see, like show and tell A lot of people know me, but not a lot know me well Hold my issues up for all to see, like show and tell A lot of people know me, but they don’t know me well Too many faces, too many faces, too many faces
I found it hard to add my opinion in this long part. He brings up a lot of stuff. “I (just) kinda like it, yeah”, I would say paraphrasing Nate.
We arrived to the end of this masterpiece. Did you like it? I leave you the link so you can hear it yourself.
Thanks for reading! If you like the post put a thumbs up and comment if you want to. Feel free to take a look to my WordPress website. Would really aprecciate your subscription to it (in the main page of the blog you’ll find a FOLLOW button).
Yeah, look I don’t do drugs, I’m addicted to the pain though Yeah, I been on it for a while, dunno how to put it down Gotta have it, it’s a habit I’ma break though I just wanna take a hit, keep sayin’ I’ma quit Keep sayin’ I’ma leave, but I stay though
That makes two of us. Anyone else?
I just want a little fix, I don’t wanna take a risk I don’t like it when I drift from the safe zone
Sometimes you reach to the point that it’s more important doing things differently than staying the same. That doesn’t mean is joyful choosing the path of variability.
But lately, I been thinkin’ I’ma have to Lettin’ go of things that I’m attached to World don’t stop just because I’m in a bad mood
This is so true. You don’t get free vacations at work, for example, just because you’re not okay. There’s no special treatment for young students who deal with depression or anxiety at school/university.
You don’t know what love is ’til you holdin’ onto somethin’ that you can’t lose
Not everybody loves this way. To love as intensely as he does (so do I, by the way) is exactly that: i-n-t-e-n-s-e. Even dangerous. How would you feel if someone/something took away the anchor of your life-ship.
I swear I’m tryna get it together Sleeves up, puttin’ work in, tryna be better I like to rap, but I ain’t gon’ do it forever Forget the charts, I’ve been focusin’ on holdin’ my head up Moment I get up, I just wanna know I’m doin’ my best And if I’m not, Lord forgive me, you can have the regrets ‘Cause I can feel the water tryna go up over my head Most of my life, I always felt like I was holdin’ my breath Holdin’ my chest to be honest, so I’m tired of it Lookin’ for somethin’ in my life to be inspired again I like to walk around and act like I don’t know what it is But I know what it is, I just never wanna commit
Inspiration, motivation, meaning to our lives. Not an easy task for everyone to achieve those things, to have a clear horizon. Why do I wake up from bed for? What´s in the world waiting for me to pursuit? How do I get away from the deep lack of interest or extreme worries?
Runnin’ from change I’m lookin’ for change I’m searchin’ for change I’m lookin’ for change I just want, I just want change
Yeah, I don’t like new things Got a lot of mood swings Oh, you wanna tell me somethin’ negative? I don’t wanna hear what you think Yeah, tossin’ in my sleep Every night feel like two weeks Thinkin’ ’bout how I could have done this or done that better
Anxiety in it’s maximum splendour with a little bit of regret added? Yeah, you bet.
Can’t help it, that’s just me, lies That’s me avoidin’ the change Yeah, that’s probably why the issues ain’t goin’ away Yeah, that’s probably why I always sit around and complain Tellin’ myself that I ain’t never gettin’ out of this place
I’m not sure if I truly agree with the statement. I’ve always wanted to stop being this sad individual, but I know I can’t. What I’m trying to say is that there are some intrinsical stuff we can’t stop being or doing. On the other side, things like starting a physical activity or eating healthier will always be the sort of change that can make a little difference in our brains and health. So, in that aspect, I take the point as valid.
I introduce you the first of my selected songs of Nate. It touches a topic a little bit personal which I felt related to. Once in my life, the things that the song writer describes, happened to me, too. One can’t always be a hundred percent sure if they really understood what the singer is telling. But I guess I’m going to stick to my point of view only. Let’s start:
Yeah, yeah, only time you ever call me is when you feelin’ like don’t nobody else wanna listen When’s the last time you saw me You probably don’t remember that ’cause that was back then you were different
To me, what NF is recounting a change that occurred in someone really close to him. As far as we know, he wasn’t happy at all with being left out somehow. I dare to affirm he feels used by this person. Whenever the other wanted him to be there, he was. But he doesn’t get away from the feeling that the situation is unfair, right?
I don’t wanna hear the sorry’s I’m tired of all the talkin’ to be honest I would rather see a difference
I agree with him in the aspect that is really damn hard to sit around waiting hopefully for that someone to realize that they are hurting you with the way they’re behaving. And it isn’t enough with saying “sorry” to keep on damaging you. Am I wrong with what I am saying?
Yeah, you pass me in the hallway But you ain’t say a word to me
Like you are just invisible, as well as you’re feelings are.
Lately all I ever feel is distant You don’t care that you lost me
All of the sudden you are reduced to the not-important pile of things.
What’s wrong with ya Had a picture of you sittin’ on the dash in the car with me Now it’s in my closet with the other ones sittin’ in a box
Looking back to the old version of that human being, hurts. The same one whom you felt so much love for. Yeah, is better to keep those memories where you don’t need to ‘see’ them every time you pass by.
I don’t wanna open up You took it all from me You told me you would die for me Yeah, all you ever do is lie to me
Why would I open to anyone else anymore? If this is what I get in return when I finally do? I will not fall in the trap never again.
Wish that I could say that this has come as surprise to me Tell me that I never took the time and now you ain’t got the time for me, yeah I just wanna know oh, oh, oh, oh When did you get so cold oh, oh, oh What happened to your soul oh oh oh Don’t you see me Yeah, we used to talk like best friends I remember that I guess I don’t know what happened to us
The rapper Nathan John Feurestein is one of my favorite artists of all time. God knows how much he helped me during the hardest times of my adolescence and adulthood. I’ve been thinking maybe he could open me up to you, guys. Tell you my story with the person that knows me the best, even though he never met me in person.
I decided to show you the best songs to be included in a top list. It’s extremely difficult to make a selection of such discography. Every single has it’s own story and unique message. But, I’ll do my best to reduce the list as much as I can.
Thesethewebsite 